I have always been far from the ‘norm’. I’m not a ‘girly girl’, apart from the fact I have female genitalia, I have always been considered by my friends as ‘one of the guys’.
Think of pre ‘Girlfriend’ Avril Lavigne, but with a fairly strong Birmingham accent, not as thin and with detachable hair, and you’ve got me.
I suppose I am a bit of a feminist (by feminist, I mean feminist, not ‘feminazi‘ or ‘man hater’). I believe in equal rights between men and women and I definitely don’t agree with there being a superior sex. Women shouldn’t be classed as one thing and men another, again, apart from the genitalia differences, everyone is the same. But alas, I’m not here to talk about a ‘battle of the sexes’ I’m here to talk about something that has been pissing me off for quite some time.
“But You’re a Girl”
– The most common phrase any girl or woman will hear in her life time, especially if they’re not into what is classed as the norm for anyone who’s female.
My sense of humor.
Above are a few of my interests, all of which have been questioned.
“Get off this server and get back to the kitchen where you belong” – Gaming
“I didn’t think you’d know what you were doing, you know, because you’re a girl.” – Gaming
“Girls can’t be gamers” – Gaming
“You’re going to build you’re own PC? But you’re a girl…” – Gaming/D.I.Y
“Can you even do D.I.Y…?” – D.I.Y
“Skateboarding is for boys, not girls” – Skateboarding
“Why would you do that to yourself, I bet you used to be such a pretty girl” – Tattoos
“I like tattoos.. just not on girls” – Tattoos
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were a girl! Just expected you to be a guy because you’re on here..” – Reddit
“Well you are a girl, so that will get you loads of attention..” – Reddit private message, talking about meeting people through different subreddits.
“You know, when you say things like that, it makes you really unattractive” – Humor
“That’s not really something a woman should be saying/joking about” – Humor
Just a few statements I’ve had said to me over the duration of my life.
Girls – how many of these statements do you recognise? Does it offend you? Does it piss you off? Do you feel hurt? Do you feel degraded? Or do you, like me, not give a shit until it gets old and really fucking annoying?
Guys – how many of these statements do you recognise because you’ve been the one to say them? How do you work out that guys can do one thing, but girls can’t? Why do you feel the need to say some of these things? Or have you ever stuck up for a girl, whether she be a relative, girlfriend or friend who you’ve seen/heard first hand had some of the statements said to her?
The main reason I have decided to write this blog post is because of gaming.
I went to Insomnia 52 last weekend and it was a blast. I was able to pick up some awesome things (such as a metric shit ton of gorgeous Sipsco, Minecraft and BioShock merchandise from the stall GAMETEE had set up there), play some games and I also got to meet some of my favourite YouTuber’s from The Yogscast. However, even though it was a great day and such a fun environment, I was still faced with my biggest ‘problem’.. Being a girl.
Now, I’m not going to lie, I dressed up for I52, I wore a dress that I’d bought a while back and actually did my makeup and hair, but the main reasons I did this was because a. I usually spend 90% of my time sat in some form of comfy clothing which would probably be deemed inappropriate for the outdoors, without any makeup on and surrounded in pizza boxes and chocolate wrappers and b. because I am severely self conscious, have a horrendous lack of self esteem and I suffer from social anxiety and panic attacks. Basically, I made myself look and feel good so I wouldn’t crumble in a spiral of paranoia.
I noticed multiple reactions spurred by myself whilst I was there, I noticed some people, mainly guys making double takes as I walked towards and past them and I also noticed some ‘I’m going to try and subtly check you out but not realise it’s actually really obvious and freak out/try to act cool when I realise I’ve been spotted and walk into something’ kind of reactions.
Another type of reaction I noticed was ‘dirty looks’. I’d get some looks as though they were saying in their heads “pfft, I bet she’s one of those ‘Gamer Girls’ who talk about COD all the time like she’s actually played it and takes half naked selfies of herself nibbling on the controller” which just to clarify, I don’t do, for one I’m not interested in COD in the slightest and the only other place my controller is apart from my hands is hurling through the air at my TV screen.. (yes, I’m one of those).
I was also looked at like I’d been dragged there by my boyfriend, to which reactions suddenly changed when they noticed I was the one doing the dragging, gorping and ‘nerdgasming’ over almost everything I saw.. (not to mention completely freaking out in the que to meet Sips from excitement and borderline panic attack approaching).
I guess my main point in this post is that, even if the whole “you’re a girl, you can’t do this or that” thing was originally started as a joke, it has ended up becoming so fucking annoying and in some cases, it can be really offensive, especially as it now seems that there is a fine line between joking about the gender differences and being incredibly rude and hurtful with sexism.
My friends still do it to me all the time, but I know they do that to wind me up because of how much it pisses me off (but I usually get the last laugh when I kick their ass, tell me I can’t game now, bitch!)
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all up for a laugh and a joke, hell, I’ll even join in sometimes with my own sarcastic little input, but it doesn’t take long before this kind of shit gets old, boring and really fucking annoying.
So the next time you meet a girl like myself, stop and think. Is it really worth pointing out the obvious? Is it really worth making yourself come across like a complete and utter douche-bag? Or do you think that maybe, just maybe you can keep those kinds of comments to yourself or maybe even banish them completely..?
You’ve got to remember, us girls aren’t all damsels in distress, some of us would happily add a new jar of testicles to our ‘Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Piss Me Off’ collection if the opportunity arises.
Until next time,
Plain Jaine x